The Desires of my Heart

Psalm 37:4 says: Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 


There are days that I pace.  I have so many things I want to do.  Here is my list in no particular order (since I seem to have no order as of late).  Sew, knit, spin, just spend the day with my sheep, groom my horses, make curtains for my hen boxes, play with my grandkids, work in my yard, clean my house top to bottom, organize the garage, clean my tool shed, plant flowers, decorate my porch, on and on and on....

 

 

  Yet, I have interruptions.  They are good interruptions.  Such as (also in no particular order) Planning our community Memorial Day Parade, going to a meeting for the revitalization of our downtown, working out with a personal trainer that I just hooked up with to fight a full fledged battle with middle age gain, knitters coming to my shop, laundry, dinner, holidays, etc.., etc... Oh! and the phone and the internet (which is my own shortcoming).

It's a dilemma that I battle with every day.  When I was younger, I just jumped into my day and did what had to be done without giving it a second thought.  However, as I have gotten older, I try to hang on to the days and make each one count.  I realize how precious each day is and I want to accomplish something worthwhile.  Thus, I notice the interruptions much more.  They are magnified.  Maybe they aren't interruptions.  Maybe they are my Savior putting things in the order that they should be each day.  Maybe I need to give them a new name.  I struggle with being a negative person, so naturally, I would call them an interruption.  However, The Lord has been working in my heart to look at things in His light, so I think I will call them "blessings".  After all, is anything, when you are following the will of God, an interruption?

 

 

Quiet On The Farm

This farm is quiet!  Raising your kids on a farm is a dream come true mixed with dirty fingernails and smelly clothes.  With my husband growing up on a farm and being a 4-H kid, he was counting the days that his own children could be in 4-H.  Our oldest turned out to be a ballerina.  She did however like to do other 4-H projects and took pigs to the fair to bond with her daddy I think.  Our son came along and being the pleaser of the family joined in to take pigs too (only to find out many years later that he hates 4-H and pigs).  Then the baby came along and wanted to take horses and beef, and tried her hand at turkeys, rabbits and goats too. 

There were steers to be walked, a horse to be ridden, turkeys to be washed, pigs to be chased and lots of stalls to be cleaned along with record books to be filled out.  On top of that was all of our school work as we schooled at home.  Field trips, tutor sessions, lab classes and science fairs.  We were running around like chickens with our heads cut off!

NOW.....they are all married and some with children of their own.  Here is the hard part.  They are still my "kids", but they are adults.  They have adult decisions of their own to make now.  I want them to carry on with the 4-H ritual, but guess what?  My son hated it so he will probably take a different route.  He might not school his children at home either.  My granddaughter may not take ballet and maybe none of them will love farm animals. 

THAT'S O.K.  We raised them to have a good life and experience all we could offer them.  Now they can make their own choices for new experiences for themselves and their family.  I may even learn something new by watching them!  We raised good kids.  I swore to myself I would never say those words until they were on their own.  Now I can say it.  Not with pride for us as parents, but by the grace of God and daily prayers.  Prayers that they would not be who we wanted them to be, but who their creator fashioned them to be.  The unique qualities are exciting!!!  You can't take a clay pot that a potter made and reform it into the kind of pot you want it to be.  It's been fired! 

I have to remind myself of this a lot.  The urge to jump in and start telling them how they should do things is a little overwhelming at times.  But then I have to step outside of my "mother" body and look at them as just another person.  Then I realize that they are full blown adults that will make the decisions they want to make whether I like it or not.  And guess what?  I TRUST THEM. 

Yep!  It's quiet here.  Now it's time for my husband....He's been sitting in the background working harder than any man should have to just keeping us going.  See ya later kids...  We are going to have some fun.  Just give us a call when you need us and we will see if we are available!   We love you all!

MOM

Crawling Back Into My World

Growing up, You could have never told me I would ever be the age I am now and made me comprehend it. Everyone knows they are going to grow older. Nobody really understands how it really happens. It just arrives uninvited. New ideas, feelings, regrets and anxieties jump right up on you and strangle you. It's a new life you have to live and you have to sort of start your life over. Say goodby to the little girl, the cool teenager, the hot wife, the cool mom and well, what now? Crawl back into my world and find myself. Step outside of myself and figure out "Who This Person Is"? Where do I even start? Hold on a minute, This is therapy for me. Give me some slack..... I was created for a purpose. I am artistic, creative, a feeler, I would say. Sensitive, outside the box and down to earth. Charismatic, wearing everything on my sleeve. All of that pushed down and unnoticed as I was growing up. Forced to live a normal life day to day to occomodate the issues of my parents. Never learned about famous artists, never had a craft box or art supplies (outside of color books), never had a journal. I did watch my grandma crochet poodles around bottles but she never offered to teach me. I was intrigued that my dad could sketch such cool cartoon farmers and that he used a tissue to blend colors when he colored with me. I wonder why no one assumed that I may want to try some of those things or be taught to do them? Well, lately I have a feeling that I need to crawl back into MY world and start being who my "Father" created me to be. No offense dad, I know you had other things on your mind. I still love you, can't help it. I'm going to play with my animals more (new horse coming tomorrow) work in my flowers, try my hand at crocheting, and get back to my collage table. I'm going to give stuff away too! We trimmed out a lilac bush a while back. It seemed such a waste when they were in full bloom. Do you know how good it felt to spread some cheer?! .

I haven't had that much fun in years. I'm going back, I'm going to do what "I" want and have some fun this summer

Random Moments

2011 was a fast moving year. When I look back over the year there were lots of great moments. We took a great family vacation to Mackinaw Island, added hens and a pony to the farm, had lots of swimming parties an lots of fun with the grandkids in the barn. We have had some recent things though that come to mind the most lately. Most importantly and closest to our hearts is the birth of our newest grandchild Turner Michael. He came home to his two sisters and big brother. He is sweet as pie and fits in to our family perfect. I look forward to watching him grow and growing to love him.


I set a lot of goals that don't always get accomplished. But goals are still good and I won't beat myself up over them. One goal I had this year was to make my daughter the sweater that she asked for. I was able to get it finished and have it under the tree on Christmas morning. It fit her perfect, and she loved it and even wore it home (which is a sign that she really did love it). It felt good to have a goal accomplished not only for her but also for myself :)

















The weather after Christmas has been pretty unbelievable. It's pretty much confusing me! This beautiful sunrise last week was a lovely reminder that God has it all in control and it's o.k. to go ahead and enjoy it while it's here.

I worked in the yard today and raked and decorated my porch. My husband got the lawn mower out and mowed just so he could say he mowed in January. Babies, sweaters and Spring weather...Not much in common except they all make my heart a little happier.

Restoring the Farm

After countless years of trying to remodel rooms in our home and "update" them, I have finally come to the conclusion that I live in a Farmhouse. So, let's make it look like it is suppose to look. Like a Farmhouse. It sits in the country, there is a magnificent barn out back with horses in the pasture and cats in the hay mow. Making it look like a townhouse or bungalow just doesn't work. So my handy husband and I headed upstairs to the part of this old house that needed the most love. Our youngest had moved out and her room was a good place to start. I REALLY wished I had before pictures but I never think to do that. I'm too anxious to dig in! We started with a piece of trim we found in the cellar that must have been around the windows at one time and took off for the Amish neighbor to see if he could recreate it for us. Original Trim Check!
We dug out grandma's bed she slept in when she was a little girl and threw on a chanille bedspread and added the pillowcases grandma embroidered. I refuse to put anything new in this room! We then added favorite family photos and writings of our daughters above the headboard.

It took me months to find the perfect little accessories and I found this great little shelf for her favorite clock at a barn sale for $1.00. It's her favorite thing in the room.
We also added planked hand hewn looking wood flooring that was pretty close to what the original looked like. I purchased a quilt at an auction last summer too that had all the perfect color to match the robin egg blue. Now on the lookout for a quilt hanger so we can hang it on the wall. For now it sits on the leather chair I found at an auction with all the perfect cracks in it.
The dresser is all chipped up in the perfect way and the window is all trimmed out with the headers and wood blinds. Wow! What a difference and I am kicking myself for not having a before picture. Off to the room next door with the same layout. Let's make it for the boys!

What Have I Done?!

This seems to be one of the busiest summers of my life. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be running away at sprint speed. With the 4th of July week-end at hand, I didn't want it to get away without feeling I had accomplished anything. I bet you can tell already that I have a hard time having fun and relaxing on holidays. It seems all I get done on the week-ends is cooking, cleaning, weeding and just catching up. No projects ever seem to get accomplished. So this week-end I set out to make sure I did something that made me feel "accomplished". I'm not sure what spurred it on. I think it had something to do with our youngest daughter Regan getting me hooked on "Pinterest". If you don't know what that is, don't feel bad, I didn't either. You really should check it out though. You just may see my new project on it someday. Maybe under the search of "what crazy women do on week-ends". Enough! This is what I set out to do... We have a little well house that has been on our farm for many many years. It used to be at the front of our house and there was a pump inside that pumped water. It has since been moved to the back yard. Here is our little well house:


My husband Terry and I set out for Menards to get some paint. To my surprise, he was about as excited as I was to get started on our little project! Does that mean we have lived together so long (36 yrs. 8 mos.) that we are both starting to have the same crazy thoughts? Somehow we got one quart too many of a different color. If anyone needs a funky green for anything, let me know. We started painting our little well house and we knew that if we had our grandaughter Nora over, she would be delighted with our color choices and wouldn't try to talk us out of it. She must be getting older though because she kind looked at us and rolled her eyes when she saw what we were doing. She had lots of fun help ing though. It wasn't at all boring for her. At least for the first 20 minutes. Here she is working hard:
With a little help from my husband on the high spots we got the front finished and did a tour of the farm to gather up some cool junk to make my little house into an assemblage/collage. I'm not sure I picked the right colors and when I look at it, I feel a tad bit embarrased but at the same time get a little tickled inside. Here is the finished project. I feel as though I have accomplished something and have also developed a little more NERVE!
We had to make sure that his DeKalb weathervane had a spot of its own along with his rebar cornstalk that he got from Jessica for fathers day. We got the front finished, stepped back and didn't know what to say. What do you think?

Happy Birthday to Me

It seems it has been a very long time since I have taken the time to blog. Maybe it is because I have had a very uneventful winter. As I think back about what I have done all I can really think of is my birthday. My husbands birthday is March 2nd, Mine is March 13th and our youngest daughter Regans is March 20th. So we decided to celebrate all of our birthdays in the Music City where she lives.

Most of our time was spent looking for a place for her to live. Her rent is very high and we explored the options of her buying a starter home. This is a sweet little house that we found for her in a not so sweet little neighborhood. The closer to the hot spots, the higher the price. I liked this little home but she won't be buying it. She's just not ready for it.

We also spent a lot of time looking for a car for her. She had a little bit of an accident that pretty much totaled her car (she was fine thank goodness). We had a few stops to check out Auto trader and catch up on a plan since there must be 2 million car dealers in her area (exageration). This just happened to be one of my favorite stops. I'm sure you must know why. Beautiful!


One great part of our week-end was the dog park with Molly. Molly used to be our dog until Regan came home and fell in love with her and couldn't live without her. We were happy to pass her on since she had way more energy than both of us together. There is just no wearing the dog out. The dog park was, I guess, something I had never been to before. I'm really thinking Bremen needs a dog park now. It's fun to watch all the dogs socialize. It was nice to have her go back to Regans and relax a little too.

If you ever go to Nashville you MUST go to McDoogles. I am not a fan of chicken fingers, but I would hurt someone for an order of these. They are so good that you can hardly stop eating them. Jace and Regan treated us to dinner there (mostly because you eat there free on your birthday) Just kidding guys. I would rather eat there than anywhere on my birthday. It's a crazy little joint. Happy Birthday to Me!